+Broken Relationships: Who Keeps the Child?

In dating and conjugal relationships between men and women, there have been arguments and conversations about whose responsibility it is to meet the financial needs of the partners or of the family.

Research shows that when it comes to money and relationships, unmet expectations can cause a lot of conflict:

‘‘The easiest way to feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied with your spouse can be when you expect finances to go a certain way and it doesn’t. 

‘‘There is no right or wrong way to split bills. It’s all about open communication and what’s important to each person. It’s perfectly normal to split any bill, whether an electricity bill or a dinner bill — but you don’t have to split every bill every time.’’

However, some have argued that the coming together of a man and woman should not be for mercantile transactions. 

Who pays the bills such as house rent, school fees, feeding allowance, and other important bills has been severely debated.

While some believe men and women in marriage ought to split the bills, others believe the man is fully responsible. 

For instance, a married woman known as ‘NurseMJ’ on X believes that a man is the head of the family, and he should be buoyant enough before he gets married.

She said ‘‘Splitting bills is a very important discussion. It should come earlier in dating. I’m against any woman splitting bills with any man. I don’t care about the percentage. It will never make sense to me.’’

For MEL, she believes ‘‘Women birthing children, being the primary caregiver, working full time, doing housework, and having to split bills don’t sound like equality.”

Mr Budget Bill opined: ‘‘If you are married and splitting the bills 50/50 every month, you are living like roommates, not like a married couple.’’

Broken Relationships: Who Keeps the Child?

The high-profile custody dispute between Nigerian music star David Adeleke, popularly known as Davido, and Sophia Momodu over their nine-year-old daughter has reignited discussions about the criteria for awarding custody to parents in Nigeria.

This case demonstrates the complexities of custody judgments, amidst considerations to ensure the child’s best interests.

Child custody is defined as the right to the care and control of a child, including the ability to make decisions regarding the child’s upbringing.

According to the 2021 MICS, a higher proportion of children surveyed lived with both parents, however, for children living with a single parent, more lived with their mothers alone rather than their fathers alone.

Nine per cent of children live with their mothers alone while 4 per cent of children live with their single fathers, showing single mothers lead single fathers by 5% in terms of child custody. 

The higher prevalence of children living with their moms following separation or divorce in Nigeria is due to a combination of cultural norms, practical caregiving roles, and religious beliefs. 

While each case is unique, and courts strive to make decisions in the best interests of the child, these reasons all contribute to the tendency for children to live with their mothers more frequently than with their fathers.

Child Custody Law in Nigeria

Child custody in Nigeria is governed mainly by the Matrimonial Causes Act (MCA) and the Child Rights Act (CRA).

There is a joint responsibility for parents who are living together, but for those who are divorced, the law permits them to make their own decisions to protect the child’s right.